- On car trips with the family, never ask for directions when you're lost. Just keep driving aimlessly around, searching for the mysterious Lost Street of the Damned. Navigate by the seat of your pants like the great Lewis and Clark explorers of old.
- But it's okay to stop for directions when driving with another guy because he won't sit patiently as you pass the same McDonald's for the third time.
- Inch forward at stoplights to keep up with the guys in the cars on both sides. It's all about who's out in front.
- Even if you don't know a hub cap from a distributor cap, never admit you're a stranger to the male domain of auto mechanics. If your car won't run and you're at a loss for words, try "Could be a cracked ring. Have you checked the compression?"
- A real man doesn't need the instruction sheet to figure out something as simple as programming his new VCR but to cook something as simple as oatmeal, a guy will follow the recipe with the exactitude of a chemical engineer.
- Don't confess that you know little, and could care less, about a particular sport, especially if it's during the finals. "Yeah, that Bo, he's really something. WOW! Did you see that hook shot!"
- Never admit you don't understand a political issue. Opinions are like whiskers. You're not an adult male without them.
- There's no need to consult the TV Guide when there's a remote control handy. Just dive bomb through all 51 channels, evading commercials like flak, in the never-ending search for a suitable landing spot.
- If you spill something on the floor, clean it up with a bath towel. It's unmanly to get down on the floor, so just slop the towel around with your feet.
- Never pay one of your buddies a compliment. Instead say things like, "Where'd you get your haircut, the school for the blind?" or "Who is that awesome blonde I saw you with and what are you going to do for a date once she meets me?" He'll instinctively get the message that this means you value his friendship.
- If a man cuts you with one of those insults, tell your girlfriend that it hurt your feelings, and you'll come off more sensitive than Phil Donahue. But never reveal it to the other guy. For example, "Coach, when you said I was a low life turdbrained doofus for striking out with the bases loaded, it made me feel small and sad."
- Never reveal anything about your true, actual authentic and biological sex life to another guy unless the guy is a urologist.
- A man should make as much as or more money than his girlfriend or wife. He should be as tall or taller, and at least as smart. Naturally, he should be able to outplay her in many activities, from Ping-Pong to chess. Having met these requirements, he should be liberated enough to be unconcerned about such things.
- If there are more than two urinals in a restroom and one is being used, proceed to the farthest available urinal. If a line has formed, maintain proper spacing of at least 3 feet back from the guy using the urinal. Above all, if nothing happens within 30 seconds, don't just stand there like a geek; shake (3 shakes maximum, anymore and the guy next to you will probably ask you for a date), zip up your fly, flush the toilet and walk away.
- If you can't take it, you're not a man (whatever "it" might be). Maybe you're scared of roller coasters, but if your buddies want to go on one, you'd better gird your loins and groan through the zero-Gs or you'll never hear the end of it.
- Ignore or deny physical pain. As comedian Billy Crystal reports, "Mike Tyson once hit Trevor Berbick so hard, Trevor did the dance Ann-Margaret did in Bye Bye, Birdie. Did he hurt you, Trevor? 'I was, ah, stunned, that's all, just stunned.'"
- Never openly display a broken heart or discuss it with other guys. That's between you, your six-pack and your collection of Frank Sinatra records.
- Don't tell another man your deepest hopes or fears. That's like saying, "How do you like my suit of armor - It's only got two weak spots in it - here and here."
- If you want to lose weight, don't even think about giving up Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream. Instead, pull on your running shoes and pound those calories into submission.
- Every guy should be hip about guns. Hand an economics professor a Remington, and even if he's never been within 100 light years of a gun before, he'll work the action, sight down the barrel and generally act like a reincarnation of Daniel Boone or Rambo.
- If your girlfriend is looking on, flip aloofly through that issue of Playboy as if it were a Better Homes and Gardens special issue on Tupperware. In a huddle of your peers, pause regularly to utter appreciative comments like "WOW! Check that out!" and if you're alone, study and quantify each curve like a forensic scientist.
- When shopping with your mate, do not trail her into the women's lingerie department. Stand clear of those racks of silk-and-lace panties like a mechanic would avoid the Whirling Fan blades of Death.
Be a Man
Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 7:25 AM
Dating Ideas
These are below some great dating ideas to make your dating wonderful and romantic memories. If you are new in stream of love, then these ideas are perfect for you.
Movie
Inviting someone to a movie is definitely safe. You can go to a first-run film or a bargain movie. One good way to make it a little interesting is to let your date choose the film, or put a bunch of movie names in a hat and pick one at random when you get together.
Nice dinner
Another classic. As mentioned above, dinner out means that you will have to think of something to talk about for an hour or two. You could invite some friends and take the pressure off the two of you for your first date.
Dance or game
High schools are always having dances and sports games, so you can invite your date to one of these.
Other Classic Dates
There are several other "classic" dates that you might consider. Most of these are more fun if you invite two or three other couples to go along with you:
Bowling
Miniature golf
Ice skating
Amusement parks
Concerts
Getting ice cream together
Hiking and nature walks
Local city, state or national parks almost always have hiking and nature trails. Throw some drinks or a lunch in a backpack and have fun.
Bike riding
Find a bike path or trail in your area and go for a ride.
Inline skating
Rent a pair of skates if you don't own them and spend the day together. If you have never skated before, make sure the first date includes some kind of lesson or instruction.
Tennis
Horseback riding
Skiing
Water skiing
Educational Dates
Zoo
If your city has a zoo, it can be a fun place to go and provides lots of topics of conversation.
Museums
Most cities and towns have museums: art museums, history museums, nature museums, etc., and like the zoo, museums provide lots of topics of conversation.
Public gardens
If you like flowers and trees, a botanical garden or an arboretum can be a great place to visit.
Other Ideas
"Nontraditional" or "casual" dates can take some of the pressure off going out for the first time. A casual date won't necessarily feel like a "real date," so it is more relaxed. If someone is unsure how they feel about you, then a casual date (especially if it occurs during the day rather than at night) is easier to accept. There will be a lot less tension.
Shopping together
Let's say you are looking for a gift for someone like your mother, friend or sibling. Take your date along with you to the mall and look for the gift together.
Picnic
Plan a picnic at a local park. Invite some friends along if you want a little less intimacy.
Stargazing--Get a book on constellations (or invite a friend with a telescope) and watch the stars. This can be especially fun during a meteor shower.
Or try something different like this :
- Hike to the top of a mountain for a picnic.
- Take a rowboat out on a lake at sunset.
- Go up to the top of a building in a large city.
- Dress for a formal party, and then walk down the streets singing love songs.
- Find a dark, romantic bistro with great coffees and desserts, or an independent book store that encourages browsing.
- Find a rarely-used corner deep in the stacks of your library. Blow the dust off some musty old volume and read it aloud together. Steal a few hot kisses.
- Pretend you've just won the lottery. "Shop" for your dream furnishings in elegant craft galleries, jewelry stores, and similar locales.
- Test drive a sports car together.
- Visit a specialty food factory--or a crafter's studio.
- Browse a ritzy museum gift shop or art gallery.
- Drive along the outer borders of your city or county, exploring new neighborhoods and villages where you've never been.
- Ride a city's entire public rail transit system, going out on remote branch lines, just for the heck of it.
- Spend the whole evening dressed and acting as characters from a play, movie, or book that you both enjoyed.
- Speak only gibberish and let your thoughts be understood from your emotions, gestures, and tone.
- Explore a wild and scenic place you've always wanted to check out.
- Walk around celebrity neighborhoods, looking for glimpses of the rich and famous.
- Do something completely out of character--something you ordinarily wouldn't be caught dead even thinking about.
Monday, March 1, 2010 at 10:12 AM